TALK FAST

Accidentally butt-dialed a friend this evening, which sparked a convo about the Cards Against Humanity game I was playing. One of the winning combos was:  ”______. That’s how want to die.” + “Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon,” which sparked what could potentially be most amazing text conversation ever. For voyeurs and fellow Nick nerds, I share:

Him: I feel like Naked Nickelodeon would lead to a brain aneurysm 

Me: Overstimulation. I get you. 

Him: You can’t go flip those childhood nostalgia switches and sexual desire ones at the same time. 

Him: If a guy were to say, “Hey girl do you have the Guts to climb the aggrocrag?” Boom. Panties gone

Me: Oh yeah. What’s really hot is when a guy can successfully reach the shrine and assemble the Silver Monkey. 

Him: Yeah, you need a man who can figure it out. And when there is a physical challenge, he wouldn’t have to Double Dare you to take the slime. 

Him: Clarissa would never have to explain how to tickle her Wild Thornberry or pleasure her Angry Beaver. 

Me: I bet that Doug could show Clarissa the Ah! Real Monsters and make her Salute His Shorts. 

Him: Then he’d make her say, “Hey Dude, you’re All That.” 

Me: Then they have sex. Then….KABLAM. Over

Him: Hahaha. It’s perfect, as long as no Rugrats show up. Which do you prefer, the Flesh or Stinky Diver?

Me: Obviously the flesh. Super strong AND super naked?

Him: Haha. <3 This conversation. Butt dial more often. 

“Ummm, I’m just going to go look through his photos now.”
“Good idea, me too.”

Love BFF time. And beautiful men.

ah, haa

hush that fuss

everybody move to the back of the bus

whatshouldwecallme:

If I don’t look good:

If actually I took the time to get ready:

whatshouldwecallme:

I don’t ask any questions, I’m just like: 

whatshouldwecallme:

is crazy.

Two weeks ago, I found out via my cousin’s Facebook (???!!!) that my grandmother, who lives in Florida, had been admitted to the hospital and very likely had lung cancer. A few days later, we found out that it’s not lung cancer, but is instead lymphoma—official prognosis TBD. Yesterday, I hear that doctors have no clue what’s reasonable to expect from her condition and are giving her anywhere from hours to weeks to live. 

It’s taken me some time to fully digest the situation, though I’m still not sure my brain has 100 percent accepted what’s happening as reality. Either way, it’s crazy how things can be totally fine one moment, then completely flip to the polar opposite in a matter of days. You just never know, do you?